What can I say? Too much work, too much sick, too much pain and too stupid to admit it to myself;p Well duh there was a reason (physically my knees) why I was working part time, so what surprise fulltime work is putting me in a ton of pain and coping with it is exhausting me completely… It’s just hard to admit it to myself how bad my knee’s got and how much it infringes on my life now. Since I was 15 years old, my knee has impacted on my life and overall I tried to make the impact a positive thing, a thing that was not limiting me but from which I could gain new lessons… And yes in many ways I have learned a lot of good stuff, made smart choices. But right now all I feel is pain, exhaustion, limits. Still hard to accept that my body is such a fragile thing, that managing my pain means I am tired a lot. This is very hard to admit to myself.
On top I had no news about my upcoming operation date and was starting to freak out… what if they forgot to put me on that waiting list. After all it was January when I saw them and it’s June now, and they said about 6 month waiting list. For weeks I was too chicken to call them up and find out, how silly am I? When I finally rung up the lady told me no set date yet but I’m on high priority and it should be before September – woohooo!!! Trust me I learned my lesson, I am gonna ring her every month now!
So that’s where I’m at. I needed some time out from the world to lick my wounds and come to grips with the above.
Thanks for your emails and comments
Lets hope my op will be soon!!!
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